Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Cabernet in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

Sunday, April 29, 2012

For Sale




It finely happen on Friday the real-estate lady put the for sale sign in the front yard. Now we sit back and wait and hope and keep dreaming.

Saturday the real-estate company called and said they wanted to show it anywhere from 12:30 to 2:00 so since we are living in the driveway we didn’t have to go far. 2:00 came and know one showed so we figured we were stood up and then about 2:30 here they came and we crossed our fingers.  

Friday was our first full month living in the 5th wheel and were both still alive and speaking to each other. 


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Wednesday Funny






Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

Oh, I forgot one last thing, the stimulus money you get is considered INCOME and therefore you will have to pay taxes on it.


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Wednesday Funny



The Hotel Bill

An older lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant
70 th birthday by staying overnight in an expensive hotel.

When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill
for $250.00.

She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a
nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth $250.00 for just an
overnight stay! I didn't even have breakfast."

The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate', so she
insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced:
"This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center
which are available for use."

"But I didn't use them," she said.

''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the

in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best
entertainers from the world over performing here," the Manager said.

"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I
didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.
After several minutes discussion with the Manager unmoved, she decided
to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.

"But madam, this check is for only $50.00."

"That's correct. I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

Don't mess with Senior Citizens.


Sunday, April 15, 2012

Week Two


We have just finished our second week full timing in the driveway,and we are both still alive and doing well.

I took this past week off work and we finished clearing out things and moving something's to the garage and several pickup loads to the dumpster.

Next step is to do a little touch up paint here and there and call the carpet man out to bid on that.

All of a sudden there are two other houses on the block same side of the street for sale,not sure what that means good or bad.

It’s back to work today so I can rest up from the past week off.


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Wednesday Funny











Sunday, April 8, 2012

One Week


I just got off work at the church and boy was it busy,you would have thought something big was going on today.

I guess there was it’s Easter. It’s always amassing all the people that are christens twice a year, Christmas and Easter  and boy do they come out.

Friday was our first week full timing and being weaned away from the the stick’s and brick’s.

We do use the shower and the washer and dryer in the basement witch is just off the garage. We call it using the shower house and laundry room.

Angela is getting use to cooking and how to do things in the kitchen like no dishwasher and no garbage disposal.

The tile work is all done so now we need to keep cleaning thing’s up and moving them out. Sold a few more thing’s on Craigslist Saturday but no bites on the MH yet.

I’m off this week so we are going to get a lot done (I Hope).

First thing Monday we need to take the 5th wheel for a ride to dump the tanks,it will be the first time that it has been out of the driveway since I brought it back from AZ in the fall.

I ask Angela why can’t I do it like in the movie Chevy Chase Vacation and dump it down the drain in the street,she just looked at me and said no.



Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Wednesday Funny


Hey...Getting old is easy

. . . Having fun at it is the real trick.

Celebrate your birthday this year by buying an all

terrain 4 wheeler. Here's a picture of mine;




Life is fleeting. Enjoy it while you can!



Sunday, April 1, 2012

Our We Full-timers If ??


We have had a lot of rain this week. So that means the outside job’s are not getting  done here at home or at my job.

Friday the tile guy came and laid the tile  in the kitchen and dinning area and Saturday Angela and I  grouted  it. Still we have some more tiling to do. We do the grouting to save a buck.

So since Friday we have been living full time in the 5th wheel in the driveway. So does that make us full timers or half timers or two timers? I call it weaning our self's off the stick and brick plan.

Everyone have a great week.