Wednesday Funny

 

 

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station.......

The conversation went like this:

''Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?''

''And the best of the day at yerself.

This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann's Catholic Church.

There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn.”

Sergeant Jones, who considered himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk,

''Well now Father, it was always my impression

that you people took care of the last rites!''

There was dead silence on the line for a moment

..............................................

Father O'Malley then replied:

''Aye, 'tis certainly

true.... But we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.''

__________________________________________________________

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

Wednesday Day Funny

 

A Loving Grandpa.....

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly
behaved 3 year-old grandson.

It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child
screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit
aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles.

Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy."

Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay,
William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in
there, boy."

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart,
and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William,
relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay
cool, William."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is
loading his groceries and the boy into the car.

She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you
were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time,
you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got,you just calmly kept saying things would be okay.

William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa.

"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William .......the little
shit's name is Kevin."

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

We Survived

 

We survived our week with Riley our  grandson or should I say he survived the week with us.

A 10 year old living with two old people living in a rv  had to be hard on him.

He did find some older boys up the street to shoot some hoops with. 

This is what kids are really into and he would do it all day if you let him.

But we made him get outside and ride his bike and shoot hoops. Angela did take him to the movies to see The Avengers what ever that is. And of course I had to have the busiest week at work and didn’t get to take off. Dam work getting in my way…

I think he was ready to go home and see his twin sister who has been at girl scout camp all week, although he would not admit to that.

That is our (Not very)  exciting  news week from the driveway rv park.

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

Wednesday Funny

 

Indian Wanting Coffee:

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter:

"Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure Chief. Coming right up."
He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.....

The Indian drinks the coffee down Indian in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter:
"Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto!

We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says,

"Training for position in United States Congress.
Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, Disappear for rest of day."

VOTE IN NOVEMBER

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

Wednesday Funny

 

Let this be a lesson to the LOUD MOUTH using the cell phone

 

                                         

 

THIS IS ONE OF MY BIGGEST PEEVES AND I LOVE THIS SOLUTION!

 

After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson .

As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:

"Hi sweetheart, it's Eric, I'm on the train.

Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty but I had a long meeting.

No, honey, not with that floozy from the accounts office, with the boss.

No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life.

Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart" etc., etc.

Fifteen minutes later at St. Anne de Bellevue , he was still talking loudly, when the young woman sitting next to him, who was obviously angered by his continuous diatribe, yelled at the top of her voice:

“Hey, Eric, turn that stupid phone off and come back to bed!"

My guess would be that Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public any longer.

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

Help Wanted

 

We are starting our 3rd month living fulltime at the Driveway RV Park.

House lookers have really really really slowed down and we have not had one for about two weeks. Bummer

I have a question maybe some of you brave readers can help with. We are looking to get a new cell phone from Verizon.

I have not had to cell phone shop for years because the church I work for provides my cell phone. So if some of you could tell me what works for you for phone and internet and what you would suggest on equipment to get. I know everybody has a different thought on this and not everyone will agree. That’s why I want to hear all.

We are not going to have satellite TV when we first start, we our not sure how much we will watch it so were going to see how that goes.

So any help you can give us would be great.. mifi, wifi ,sifi what does all that mean????

 

The Secret Service issued new rules of conduct for agents Friday.

They can no longer get drunk, procure hookers or go to strip bars.

The rules say that from now on, if agents feel the need to engage in such behavior, they can run for public office like everyone else.

 

 

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM