Wednesday Funny

 

 

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

The Real Reason For Memorial Day

 

The real reason for this holiday is not beer and bar-b-que although  I do like both. Its for the one’s that have served this country.

I found these and thought they were appropriate for this holiday. 

And this one says it all!
"Definition of U.S. Marines -
Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club."

IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM !!! "Freedom is not free . . . but the U.S. Military will pay most of your share."
Pacifism is a luxury paid for by warriors!!

In God We Trust

Thank you to all that  served our country

WEDNESDAY FUNNY

 

TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity....I enjoy every damn minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

 

 

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

 

 

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-in-the-hell- is-the-room- spinning medicine.

12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

 

16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18. Procrastinate Now!

 

19. I went to college and I have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

 

25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true)

27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

 

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

 

Trip To The Vet.

 

Another week down and flying by. Friday we were up early because we had to take the two dogs to the Vet. to get the annual check up and shots.

The Vet we go to is about 40 miles from the Driveway RV park. I also wanted to take the big Dodge truck and get it a little road time since it sits most of the time.

The reason we go so far to the Vets. is it’s a lot cheaper, they also run a no kill shelter so any profits they make it goes to that. The two hounds got a look over from the doc,vaccine shots,heartworm test,a nail trim and 1 years supply of  heartworm prevention meds. All that for $218.50 hey the office call was only $10 not to bad.

I spent the rest of the day putting “The Solution Cleaner” on both trucks. There is something about driving a clean truck that makes a guy feel good.

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

Wednesday Funny

 

 

 

SNOTTY RECEPTIONIST

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'

The room erupted in applause

DON'T MESS WITH OLD FOLKS.

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

Happy Moms Day

 

The weeks are flying by seems like it was just Wednesday and now its time to post for Sunday.

Besides work getting in my way I spent part of the day Friday using the Solution on the 5th wheel, boy I sure love that stuff.

 

Got half of it done Friday and the other half Saturday. You don’t realize how big the trailer is till you start cleaning it.

The Solution sure took off all the dirt from winter and it looks like new now.

Saturday while I was cleaning the rig Angela had a garage sale. I’m not much on getting stuff ready for a garage sale (just ask her) anyway she did real good and by noon all most everything she put out was gone.

We don’t have a hole lot left to sell or get rid of. Had a few lookers at the house but still no bites.

Today is Mother’s Day and we want to say Happy Mothers Day to all the moms.      

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

WEDNESDAY FUNNY

Love this Doctor!

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach..

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Cabernet in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans...

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

Driveway RV Park

 

We have had another good week here at the Driveway RV Park.

We did have several house showings but no takers yet. Sure hope P.T. Barnum was right “There's a sucker born every minute” just wish they would show up here.lol

I did learn something new this week.

I learned how to restring a day and night shade. And the other thing is I have more than one chin. (picture)

   

Not to hard to do after a few choice words and another set of Angela’s hands.

  Good as new.

I may have found a way to make some extra money on the road.

Saturday Angela and I did celebrate a little for Cinco de Mayo.

The fiesta fixings, what's more authentic than Taco Bell?

Even the waitress trying to look like the real deal…..

Even Max got in on the celebration with his Mexican Siesta. He never could hold his liquor.

 

UN DIA MAS CERCA A NUESTRO SUEÑO

(ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM)