Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Cabernet in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wednesday Funny

 

 

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.... Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Annie, I'll be waiting.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

1

Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society.

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Wednesday Funny

 

 

 

Only the Irish have Jokes Like These

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy,
looking like he'd just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken,
his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean,
"He couldn't do that to you,
he must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had,
and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
" Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself,
didn't you have something in your hand?"
That I did," said Paddy.
"Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of
beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

********************************************************************************************

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink
is driving home from the city one night and,
of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver,
where have ya been?"
" Why, I've been to the pub of course,"
slurs the drunk.
" Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite
a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and
folding his arms across his chest,
"that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

*****************************************************************************
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual,
when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.
But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus
is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim.
"How did it happen, Tim?"

"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat
of Guinness Stout and drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim.
Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, Brenda... no. In fact,
he got out three times to pee."

******************************************************************************

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after
his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news.
My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.
Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
She says, He said,
'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'

*********************************************************

AND THE BEST FOR LAST

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church,
enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his
attention but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin,
there's no paper on this side either!"

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

Sunday, March 18, 2012

The Dream

 

The dream is starting to feel real.

We have been busy cleaning things out putting stuff in one pile for a sale and something's on Craigslist and the rest to the dumpster.

 

009

I have (had) this enclosed trailer that I used when I was in the handyman business. We spent Thursday unloading all the tools and things I used in the business and then reloaded it with all the things that belong to my son.

He needed a place to store his motorcycle and other stuff so I gave him the trailer to keep.

 

010

Not sure if anyone or everyone that was getting ready to go fulltime had the unsure and mixed feelings when they realized it was not just a dream but it is really  happening.

We have started putting things in the 5th wheel that are going with us. Then comes the task of where to put it and then trying to remember where it is.

Now that the painting is done it’s time for tile in the kitchen,bath we bought the tile Friday and hope to have it installed sometime this coming week.

We are planning (hoping) to get the house on the market by April 1 (Fools Day) and be living pretty much in the 5th wheel in the driveway 1. To keep the house cleaner  and 2. Keep the dogs and the hair out of the house.

I’m the impatience type that wants everything done yesterday. Angela says I need to slow my head down that its going to happen when its sup post to happen…..What ever that means..

I better get off here and think about what's next .

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Wednesday Funny

 

This is How to Explain How We Came to Be. The New Generation would Never Believe the Old Fashion way.

 

 

ATT123

 

Daddy , How was I Born??
A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'
The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you
will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
Scroll down...You'll love this ....

 

 

 

 

ATT334

'You Got Male!

 

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Sunday

 

 

Not much going on here just sitting and..

th_banjohilbilly

 

 

 

 

watching-grass-grow-demotivational-

Our it should be watching paint dry???

P.S. I have finished painting the last wall in the house   Hip Hip Hooray!!!!    Another item to scratch off the list and 1000 more to do..      But it is   ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Wednesday Funny

 

 

Worried about squirrels getting into your bird feeder??

 

1

2

3

What the hell is that line made of??

Only in Canada would you see a sign like this!
Read the sign to the end.

Fort Steele is near Cranbrook .....

 

5

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Still Here (Boring)

 

We are still here and still getting the house painted and ready for

sale. (Boring) We are down to about a week from being done with

the inside painting (Boring) Angela has started to go thru some

pictures and getting rid of things she doesn’t want…(Boring)

The weather is getting nicer and spring is in the air…(Boring)

We are in the stage of getting rid of things in one pile and putting

things in another pile for a garage sale. (Boring)

I would tell you what we had for dinner last night but that would be?  (Boring)  

This is something I found and think it says it all. We have two

rescue mutts in our family right now plus a bird..

Dog

ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM