Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Cabernet in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Wednesday Funny

Children Are Quick


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TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find   North America.

MARIA:         Here it  is.
TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered   America ?

CLASS:         Maria.
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TEACHER:    John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.  
(I  Love this child)
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TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:   What are you talking about?
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.  
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TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE:       Me!
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TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

 

GLEN:          Well, I'm a  lot closer to the ground than you are.  
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TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with '  I.  '
MILLIE:         I  is..
TEACHER:     No, Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.'
MILLIE:         All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  
                   Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS:           Because George still had  the axe in his hand....
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TEACHER:    Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:         No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.  
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TEACHER:       Clyde , your  composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your   brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE  :         No, sir. It's the same dog.  
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
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TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer  interested?
HAROLD:     A teacher
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PASS  IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER  IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!

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ONE DAY CLOSER TO OUR DREAM

9 comments:

Happytrails said...

What a great laugh this morning!! As a retired teacher I can so identify....thanks for the chuckle!!

Danny &Shula Oren said...

A Texan Farmer comes to visit a Kibutz and asks the guy "how big is your farm?" "from here to here" (50 yards), so Texan says"I enter my car in the morning and drive the whole day till I reach the end of my farm" " I had a CAR like this but I sold it" answers the Kibutz farmer.

Sue and Doug said...

good ones..bad puppy though!!

Dennis and Donna said...

PLEASE TELL ME THAT DOG IS NOT PEEING ON THAT LAPTOP!!!!

pidge said...

Great funnies today. Stay warm.

Levonne said...

Thanks for those! Oh no though for the owner of that laptop!

Merikay said...

Bad dog! Bad, Bad, Dog!

Kevin and Ruth said...

I just loved those! I like that puppy too!

Kevin and Ruth
www.travelwithkevinandruth.com

Kathy and Robert said...

HeeHee...No-no puppy!