Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Cabernet in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Wednesday Funny

 

An Old Farmer's Advice

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

 
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

 
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

 
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.


Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.


Meanness don't just happen overnight.

 
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

 
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

 
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.


You cannot unsay a cruel word.

 
Every path has a few puddles.

 
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

 
The best sermons are lived, not preached.


Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway.

 
Don 't judge folks by their relatives.

 
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

 
Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

 
Don 't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

 
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

 
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

 
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

 
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

 
Always drink upstream from the herd.


Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

 
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

 
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.


Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.


Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.


And.........................................

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Living The Good Life

6 comments:

Paul and Marsha Weaver...OCT. 17, 2009 said...

Wonderful way to begin my day.
Don 't judge folks by their relatives...I had to keep that in mind when I was a teacher. I couldn't judge the child by their parents. Most times the parents were crazy and the kid was great.

Phyllis said...

Wise old farmer indeed.

Sue and Doug said...

good ones!!..thanks for sharing!

Merikay said...

I'm nothing like my relatives! My daughter is nothing like me.

Janie and John said...

Smart old farmer. Love the last one!

TexCyn said...

Oh I think I just found my new tagline, thanks! Poor little Weim...