Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Cabernet in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Wednesday Funny

 

Lovemaking Tips for Seniors!!!......

Some of you are too young to understand this . . . but your day will come.

(I’m not so sure you’re too young)

 

RAW

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)


4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Use extra Polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.


8. Make all the noise you want....
the neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!


10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,'
and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.


'OLD' IS WHEN.....
You don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the
doctor
instead of by the police.

'OLD' IS WHEN
'Getting a little action' means you don't need
to take a laxative today.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to
use the bathroom.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
Your spouse offers you super sex, and you reply,
"I'll have the soup."

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.

Living The Good Life.



6 comments:

Paul and Marsha Weaver...OCT. 17, 2009 said...

Oh this is so sad...so many of these apply to Paul, but I can't seem to find one that applies to me...hehe

Thanks again for a wonderful start to my day.

Danny &Shula Oren said...

That is funny and may be NOT funny for some of us.
I am happy with our sex life-every year we have a new GRAND-KID.

Phyllis said...

Good Wednesday morning!

Kimberly and Jerry Peterson said...

LOVE IT...so funny and true at the same time!

The BooneDocks said...


:-)

Sam&Donna Weibel said...

as someone said.....sad but true.
:-)
Donna