Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Cabernet in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Wednesday Funny

 

 

Why I Like Retirement !!!

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep in the recliner.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.Very true

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.Sometime 15%

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question:Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:They are the only ones who have the time.


Question:What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer:NUTS!So true

Question:Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or
Garage?
Answer:They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.


Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal .

Question:What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
And, my very favorite....
QUESTION: What do you do all
Week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest

6 comments:

Sue and Doug said...

oh the life of the retiree?..they say they wonder how they ever found time to work?..one day that will be us!

Paul and Marsha Weaver OCT. 17, 2009 said...

Hahahaha...everyone pretains to us.

Dennis and Donna said...

If ONLY it WERE that way!!!

Phyllis said...

Ah, we have found the thrill of those old people discounts!

Tammy Fletcher said...

Well now that we are 'retired' I can relate to some of those. Especially the bedtime 3 hours after the nap. Cute.

Danny &Shula Oren said...

When is morning for you?
Answer: when I wake up.